Publishing this blog has gotten me into trouble.....

anyone think I'll stop though?

MUAHHAHAHAHAH

Marc's Scavenger Hunt continues!!!!

see previous post before reading......you all thought it was over...that the requests were done....oh...how wrong we all were.....


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2 hours after last message
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Could you bring my earrings?

If you look at the photo of me in the navy kimono (on my bedside table) you will see the earrings I am looking for.

I believe that they are in the Chinese Pagoda that is on the ladder bookshelf to the left of my bureau.
It has a matching necklace. They are together in a small plastic bag.
They are sort of delicate, just so you know.

I am not sure which drawer they are in... the top of the pagoda opens up...then there are 2 or 3 drawers that you can open once you have opened the small gate at the bottom of the pagoda.

If for some reason they are not there... check the pink jewelry box, then the blue jewelry box on my bureau.

Thanks! You are the best!

XOXO

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15 minutes later
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I brought the wrong bra... can you grab the black lace one that has a criss-cross (x) holding it together in the front. It is in the top drawer of my bureau. If you can't find that one...grab the black satin one that dips low in the front.

Thanks!!!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

PS Don't kill yourself looking for anything except the navy dress, the earrings, the shoes and the bra.

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Me: My life is over....

This is the relationship stuff everyone goes through but doesn't tell you about. This is a conversation over email between my fiance and I.....enjoy....i didn't put her name there in order to respect the not so innocent....

Kiefer, will you please announce it..

"This conversation takes place between the hours of 1 and 4 pm on Friday"

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I was just thinking... would you bring the navy dress (the kimono one from the photos) and the silver strappy heals (on the back of my bedroom door, bottom right) for tonight?

Thanks!

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ME: where is the navy dress?

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That dress should be hanging on the back of my closet door. it is under several other hanging items... look at it, before you take it. I think that I dry cleaned it recently, but am not sure. If it doesn't look clean, let me know...if you are not sure, bring the black dress and my tuxedo jacket. too.

Thanks!

What time are you planning to go to my house?

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ME: Where's your tuxedo jacket? Not sure I've seen that. I'll double check your blue dress though... will the silver shoes go with the black dress too?

****

I brought the shoes for the black dress just in case. I think that the navy one is dressier though.

The Tuxedo Jacket is in the closet on the left hand side. You are going to kill me, but the top that goes under it is a black satin tube top that is in the armoire (1st or 2nd shelf on the right hand side) or on the chest under the window.

Are you ready to kill me yet? We could end up with a photo somewhere you know. ;0)

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ME: i'm just picturing the 4 bags i'm bringing with me on the T....

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No bags.. ;0)

Hopefully just the navy dress on a hanger and 1 pair of silver shoes...I only need the other stuff if you think that the navy one is not clean. I am pretty sure that it is... Hope it still fits! :0)

I won't go upstairs until 5:30 pm...feel free to call me if you are home before then.

XOXO

---82 minutes pass--

I almost forgot to ask....can you please bing the leopard bag with my nail polish?

leopard bag

It is under the sink in the back bathroom on the left hand side.

You can take out the files if that makes it easier to close.

Additional nail care

There is also a baggie with some more nail stuff (1 red polish, 1 clear and 1 fast dring top coat and the cuticle cutter) in my room.

It is either on my bureau or on top of my black overnight bag in front of the long mirror.

I have to touch up my toes before we go.

Thanks!

*****

ME:: hmmmm....can you send an email with a list of EVERYTHING you need so I can print it out and get everything at you place?

*****

I deleted it all...

Take a look at the navy dress... if it is not stained..I just need it and a the silver shoes. Call me if it is stained and we can go from there.

Thanks!

*****

ME: no worries...i just stabbed myself in the eyes with hot pokers....i wouldn't be able to read it anyways.

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h, the monday that should be but isn't but could be if it wasn't

That's right...the day after the day after new YEARS eve....after being away from my office for 10 days, ten WONDERFUL, GLORIOUS, FANTASTIC, INCREDIBLE days fill with family and friends and the things I love, I decided, based on the need for healthcare and income, to return to work. I woke up to the sweet sounds of a staticy clock radio--seems the last time I used the alarm clock was just before I dusted--having hit the dial which resulted in the sweetly sounding crackleshshshshcrackleshshshhsh

shshshsh wake up donkey sound....i bolted upright.....okay, so my hand bolted upright and came smashing down on the snooze button--they need to make it bigger. I got up.....grabbed my bathrobe, opened my door, stepped out of my room, the door closed behind me, catching part of my bathrobe...two steps and i was spinning like a top trying to figure out who was messin' with me so early in the morning. Stupid door. Cursed inanimate objects.

I stumbled down stairs.

I forgot to make coffee. UGH. I start the coffee process. Fill the pot. empty the pot into the coffee maker. Put the coffee in the grinder. Grind the coffee. Scoop the coffee into the coffee maker. SON OF A......reread what I just wrote, starting with Fill the pot. Yes. I forgot the filter!!! Empty the coffee out. Clean the coffee holder. Put the filter in the coffee holder. Add coffee, hit the start button. Hop in the shower. get out of the shower. Shave. Go get a cup of...SON OF A...i hit timed brew, not brew now....figures. I hit brew.....go upstairs, get dressed....the door is playing nice now, thankfully. I go down stairs. I pour a swwweeeeet cup of coffee. Sweet....Glorious....Mud....mmmm. I get in the car. I start driving. Where are all the crazy people coming from????? How does one rear end an ambulance? i Mean, really. But hey, someone did. Luckily emergency response units were already on the scene.

I find my blood pressure rising the closer i get to my office. This isn't healthy. I get to my desk. I can't remember my password. 10 times...locked out....I call the help desk, remembering my password as I make my way through press 3 for more options, press 4 for more options, press 3825 to speak to an operator (look at the letters on 3825...bet you can guess what 4 letter word I spelled out).....I tell them I forgot my password, but I remember it now, and I need them to unlock my account. She says, "we can reset your password for you." I said, "i know my password...i mean, I couldn't then, but I remember it now, i just need them to unlock it." She resets my password for me.....3825 3825 3825.......i go through the pleasurable process of redoing my password, (no words more than 3 letters, must contain alpha-numeric in the first 4 characters, no repetition or letter number substitution, must be 13 characters long and not repeat any patterns in the previous 7 passwords.....). Password successfully set. I couldn't remember what it accepted.....rinse wash repeat the entire paragraph.

I finally log in. I go to refill my coffee. I pour a tall cup from my thermos (saving money this year to pay for all those things that keep popping up all the freakin' time). I close the thermos. I pick up the cover for my cup. I reach for my coffee. I wear my coffee....3825 3825 3825.

Ahhhhhh...it's like i never left. There's something comforting the familiar...isn't there?

Because I have sooo much stuff on my mind......

So, you say you want a boat. That's great. Boats are a blast, lots of fun. Before you buy the boat, I need you to do two things. First, put on your swimsuit. Now put some shorts and a t-shirt on. Get your flip-flops on. Go rent a humvee and fill it with premium gas. Drive around for two hours with the heater on. Go to the beach. Take off one flip flop. Stand in the hot sand, look longingly at the water. Don't touch the water. Stand around for about an hour like you're a homeless person looking at a bed at Jordan's Furniture. Get back in the humvee. Drive around for another two hours, fill the tank again. Drive for home. Get home. Swear. Go in the bathroom. Take $200 out of your wallet. Put it in the toilet. Flush.....if you can do all this.....you are ready to own a boat.

How do you know if you're ready to plan a wedding? Simple. Go out to the shed. Grab a leather punch and a spoon. Heat the leather punch by sticking it in an open flame. Stick the spoon in the freezer. In 30 minutes, I want you to pick either the hot leather punch or the frozen spoon.....AND JAM IT INTO YOUR EYE!!! This will show that you are fearless, willing, and ready to make difficult and painful decisions........

If I could have my way:

I'd like the theme song, "I'm Beebalicious", to be played every time I walked into a room

Every night, as I'd lay down in bed, I'd like to have Morgan Freeman do a narration/voiceover, something like, "After another long day, Marc had decided it was about that time to lay his head on a soft pillow and drift asleep. The stars will always shine, and the sun will always rise, and tonight he will sleep soundly"....

Miss Lippy would serve lunch to all my friends every day

Yoko Ono would never be allowed to make music again, and all previously created abominations would be erased from the history of the world

Nap time would be reinstated....and bob ross would still be alive painting little happy trees as we drifted asleep

Keifer Sutherland would do a "This meeting takes place between the hours of 2 and 3 pm" before the start of all meetings

People would stop saying to me, "you have waaay too much time"

Yes, I know. I have fallen behind. Chalk it up to exhaustion, an engagement, hawaii, san diego, 8 planes in 8 days, a marathon of planes trains and automobiles, and a funny itchy/burning sensation every time i get near a computer.....it's a work thing.....anyways....as to what I am up to....i am resting quietly....garnering my strength to prepare for an unleashing of a torential stream of consciousness unlike anything we have seen before....be wary, be warned, be ready, and be excellent to each other......

yeah, that's right, I totally just dropped a bill and ted reference...how f'n sweet is THAT?

Monday, October 16th. So, a little less than a month from now it'll be a year since my dad died. Amazing how fast time has flown, how much has changed, how much I've grown. I'm close to be done all the paperwork. I promise to make sure I have an honest lawyer that will help my kids with everything. It's funny that only now, 11 months later, that I'm finally allowed the opportunity to grieve, finally given the chance to cry and be angry and be frustrated. And it amazes me how things come about, when they come about, like on sundays when I wanna call my dad and talk about the Pats and the Bills, or when I want to let him know about things going on in life, or to ask him what spice I should use to bring out the flavor of something. And I can't. And people will ask me what my dad was like, and I think how you should've met him, cause for all the good and bad, it's hard to put in to words. You should've tasted his cooking. It was fantastic. And that is part of what stirred this writing. This weekend I found the cookbooks, the recipe books. And I flipped through them, excited and ecstatic that they are in my possession. I can't wait to cook them, grateful that I paid attention to the pinch and pile, the dash and splash. And I think how could someone who was so meticulous, so precise, and had spent so much time in the medical field NOT been more pro-active with his health, with his doctor visits, and keeping people in the loop. And really, it doesn't matter, because it doesn't change anything. He's gone, he won't be back. Stories. We leave behind all these stories--and yet these stories are only good so long as there is someone to tell them. The months leading up to my dad's death, we'd sit and talk--he told me of all these stories from his youth, from his 20s, from his time with my mom. I remember them, as I remember most things. Sure, I suck when it comes to, "hey, thursday at 5 we're meeting at the clubhouse", but I remember your stories, all of your stories. The stories of the people I know. It's through those stories that we live on. My grandfather told me lots of his stories just before he died. I never pieced it together. My grandmother, who I spoke to every week at the end, we talked all about her stories, and it was fun to connect about my living in Newton, where she studied nursing. Stories. People pass on those stories, ever more so as they get closer to the end. The need to live on. Even if one person only tells one story of another person, that person still lives on. Eventually the stories end...eventually they fade. Like the words on a page, or the grooves in a record. Faint, faint, fainter...gone.

yeah, that's right....i'm having one of those days...a double post day. My friend Julie, a lovely woman with a beautiful soul, is about to start a new job. She'll be working with pre-schoolers doing some speech stuff--I of course could use some help in that department myself. Anyways, she's been working with "troubled" kids for the past few years--and by troubled I mean kids that have threatened to kill her and do mean horrible things. Most are on the fast path to the state school for psychopaths. Good stuff...anyways, as I was on a roll this morning...i figured...why stop.....

Pre-schoolers will be fun, and it's speech, which is even better! That's awesome....plus, pre-schoolers won't threaten to kill you. Remember...say no to paste....it's addicting. It's like crack for 4 year olds. You know it's bad for you, but once you start you can't stop. Sure, other teachers will try to talk you off it, help you quit switching to elmer's glue (paste's version of methadone), but it won't be the same....then the 5 year old pusherman comes up to you...yeah, he's going to kindahgahden soon....He'll offer you a taste...just to get you through the rough spot...next thing you know your huffin' scented markers, lookin' for your next fix. If you don't pay up he and his cronies will start fingerpainting your car, crushing your macaroni necklace, and stealing your lunchbox.

How you know you're having a bad day...First, you wake up at your girlfriend's house to her two alarms. Second, you shower, start to get dressed, only to realize you have no boxers to wear at her place because she's been going non-stop for almost a week and a half and hasn't been home to do laundry and your gym bag is at work with a clean pair in it so you have to go commando. Yes, I am sitting here commando. I feel like Joey on friends. Then....you decide to leave early because yesterday was a holiday and traffic is always worse after a holiday, so you skip breakfast, head down to the car and find a parking ticket because you parked overnight on without a pass EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A HOLIDAY. $30 to that f'n'sh'tay town. Of course, her roommate parked next to you because you said, "it's free, it's a holiday." So, let's us add a little guilt to the whole mix. Finally, miserably, you get on the road. Yup, traffic is bad. You have to swerve into the breakdown lane because someone tried to occupy the exact space you held. Then, as you try and settle your nerves, you go to take a sip of coffee, only to realize the lid was open and it sloshed when you swerved, so the coffee is all over your cup holder and has now dripped on to your jeans, and when you tried to honk you hit the radio button and it's now playing The Cure because really you couldn't be any more depressed. At least the coffee wasn't hot.......god I wish the coffee was hot.

Rainy day. Aches in the bones......couldn't sleep last night. tossing and turning--I don't want to rush through my life. Realized that last night that that's why I've been so wired. My friend Robby's grandmother was talking to me before his wedding. The woman, bless her, was up and out about two weeks after a massive heart attack that resulted in her being medi-flighted to the hospital. She said, "Live each day, cherrish each day because they go so fast. Don't rush through them. Enjoy them." And I feel like I'm rushing through my days to get to the next thing. that's not me. never been me. I usually notice the leaves changing....today I realized most already have.

Another crazy commute managed to set the tone today. I awoke up to two alarms....i hate two alarms. Especially when you snooze the first one, and then the second "you really gotta get up" alarm goes off 2 minutes after the first is snoozed. That's just bad timing. If anything, i need to set them so that the "you really gotta get up" occurs two...maybe three...snoozes. And why do snoozes have to be 7 or 9 minutes? Why not, oh, i dunno, say 10? Is this part of the cursed american tradition of setting arbitrary measurements? Like, say, we'll make this unit of measurement be 12 inches in a foot, then three feet in a yard. How many yards in a hectare? And to make matters worse...it's cold now.....or at least getting colder. Makes it much harder to leave the comfort of a warm bed, and the comfort of my girlfriend (which is already hard enough to do as it is), to make the trek down to the shower. Oh, and looky here, the alarm JUST went off again from the first snooze of the SECOND clock...>ARGH<